Drunkdriver: Forever Dust

It came to my attention early in the morning today that the New York band Drunkdriver has broken up. While I myself was shocked and surprised by this piece of information, my associate Der Diggler was even more devastated. The article below is Der's Drunkdriver obituary.
-Tim
Another day, another band killed by the constantly churning rumor-mill allegedly invented by one Al Gore, also know as the internet or internets if you are so daring to be that baller. Unfortunately this time, the internet gods have chosen Drunkdriver as their fodder in the constantly ongoing war between good and evil (music that is). However, I digress. I am not here to bitch and moan about the factors that have recently brought the band to its demise, nor am I here to provide some sort of review for the band's entire discography. I am simply writing this to pay my brief homage to one of the few noisy punk bands that got “it”.
 
The first time I heard Drunkdriver I will admit I was not impressed. I felt as if they were just trying to rehash the sound that Steve Albini created with Big Black and perfected with Rapeman. After giving it a few more spins on the turntable it hit me. I was that guy! I was the guy who thought he was allowed to trash a band because the band shared similarities to bands that had a relatively large status in the music world, and Drunkdriver just so happened to be the victim of my narrow-minded pretentiousness in this situation. I had built an obsession that I could not kick to save my life. Yes, I probably would have sucked a dick or two, or seven to be a band that could pull off a mind fuck of that magnitude.
 
However as impeccable as Drunkdriver's records are, what comes out of that band live is something usually reserved for teenage boys walking down the hallways of their high school with a tech 9 laying waste to everyone and everything in sight. Their live performance puts to rest any doubt at all about the band's lack of a bass player the instant the first chord is struck. The sound of the Les Paul combined with a small army of pedals and two separate amps makes for what is hands down the most dynamically incredible sound one could ever possibly hear come out of sour speakers housed inside a box. As far as drumming goes I am almost positive that Jeremy could give a man wearing a baseball helmet a concussion with simply a drumstick. Vocals? Who cares? I am so scared of Mike's onstage personality that my ears actually shut down  as if out of fear that if I were to hear one syllable of lyrics my brain would be so overwhelmed that I would go into sensory overload and die.(From AIDS naturally. I know, how 1980's of me)
 
Back into the present as I step out of my hot tub time machine and back into a world where Drunkdriver is defunct and never to been seen on stage again. I now stand here at my desk(yes I am required to stand at work) asking god, “Wasn't Alex Chilton enough? Thanks for taking care of that Reatard harlequin, but why Drunkdriver?” This has happened to me numerous times before with bands such as The Feelers, Carbonas, and The Catholic Boys, Drunkdriver has proven to be too good for any sort of worldly existence beyond shiny 180 gram vinyl. 2010: A Music Tragedy.  

Eddy Current Suppression Ring: Promotors of Ambience Themed Jokes

This is the nth version of this thing. I know what I want to say but my fingers tell me otherwise. Writing about music should be the easiest thing in the world since most people can’t shut the hell up about what they’re either listening to or what hot band they’re going to see next month. Within the continuing dialog of music, one always hears the term “hype band”. Goddamn I hear this phrase all the time! “Hype band” is new wordage the hip people use because “sell out” has been hijacked by the trip pants wearing middle school crowd, and god forbid if those bohemian types are caught using the same lingo as pimple faced twelve year olds. It’s been used to describe everyone from Thee Oh Sees to Sex Vid. While I do see some validity in these claims, (especially Sex Vid) most of the claims makers are those greasy collector types who eat their own shit since they literally feed off of trends. Check their message board and eBay habits, and you’ll see what I mean. But I swear, if I hear one of these morons use such words in relation to Eddy Current Suppression Ring, I might have to shove their Jandek albums down their throats.

Besides the usual resentment from the usual music snobs who stalk eBay like sexual predators, I’ve noticed the “you either really love them or hate them” mentality a lot of music writers are presenting in all levels of music media. This argument has come to it’s apex with the release of ECSR’s third album Rush to Relax. Holy shit, quite a few people got pissy and smug when reviewing this one. They accused the band of “inadvertently turned DIY culture into a breeding ground for hobbyists”, and releasing an album that is nothing more than “two ballads made for a man and his woman, two punkers to prove we are still keeping it mad real, and three self-indulgent jams that go for over six minutes each”. These same people go on to suggest that the band do something new while at the same time talk about how they should just stick to doing garage rock numbers, and THEN they accuse them of writing “self-indulgent jams”.

What?

Oh, but it gets better. After all that bullshit, they bitch and whine about how ECSR doesn’t want to be pretentious and therefore makes their approach to music is “pretentious”. Right.

With all of that bullshit being said, I can tell you exactly what they meant by all that. They were upset that ECSR did not make another Primary Colours. Not only did they want another Primary Colours, they wanted a Primary Colours that had slicker production, actual singing, and worst of all, “indie” credibility. Basically, they wanted ESCR to become what the Black Lips are now, and they are cowards for wanting it. The suggestion box is full, and they burned the fucker. Moving on now.

I have to be honest, I was a little worried that ECSR would just rehash their second album, I really did. Luckily, Rush to Relax offers up a lot more than it’s detractors give it credit for. When reading the negative reviews of the album, I found myself liking the so called “negative” aspects of album (ie. Brendan Suppression’s voice. Bob Dylan pulled the same shit yet all you rock critics give him a pass. Well, he did write those pretty words you that you critic types eat up). The longer numbers like “Gentlemen”, “Tuning Out”, and “Second Guessing” were some of the stronger numbers on the album. I could see why so many people would hate a song like “Gentlemen”. It’s kind of sappy and it’s kind of blunt but then again, it IS a love song. Is it more musically valid if it gives you some sort of vague abstraction? All I know is that if I had a choice in either saying “fuck you asshole” or “ your aura is a preconceived notion of arrogance, therefore I detest you”, I would pick the first option. It has nothing to do with maintaining some sort authenticity, it just rolls off the tongue better.

“Second Guessing” is my favorite song on the album. It almost sucks you into this fucked little world. It goes by incredibly quick and you feel like you just came out of a trance, something I thought this band could never do. Fuck, most rock bands don’t even come close to pulling that shit off. “Tuning Out” is another song that gets the job done. For being over six minutes long, it does not seem drawn out at all. If anything, this song puts the mind at ease. I can just listen to this song and not have to decipher some hackneyed inherent meaning or how tortured the artist in question is. I can listen to a song and the artist leaves me the fuck alone. I know exactly what ECSR is trying to tell me and they didn’t even give me a decoder ring.

Also, let’s not forget about the two opening songs on this thing. “Anxiety” and “I Got A Feeling” might very well be two of the best numbers this group has written. Both songs have this indecisive tone about them. They talk about apathy, but you know that there is more on your mind. You know they are mulling over multiple things at once. As always, the music provides a perfect arena for these musings. Eddy Current’s bare bones guitar work produces these sparse little well crafted songs that that just get stuck in your mind. He wants you to think that he can’t play worth a shit but the trick doesn’t work that well. Bullshit guitarists can’t write riffs that stay with you long after the song is over. Current can.

It would be easy to say that Rush to Relax gives you “two ballads made for a man and his woman, two punkers to prove we are still keeping it mad real, and three self-indulgent jams that go for over six minutes each” but you could say that about any album. It’s like criticizing a painter for using a color palette that is identical to another artist’s. In other words, its dumb. This album gives us variety, and you fuckers still whine. Shouldn’t you guys at least give them ambience music props for all the beach sounds at the end? That’s progress, right? No? Well it sounds like somebody didn’t get the joke. For an album chalk full of “long self-indulgent jams” Rush to Relax still only clocks in at a little under thirty minutes(the average album length) if you don’t count the beach noises. What was really funny about the beach sounds was how everyone was so pissed off by it. I thought that part was hilarious, and I’m glad I got the joke. So many did not.

Old Shit: Shoot It Up- Can't Stand The Midwest, but Olives Are Good.

So I was fucking around on my computer today and stumbled upon this fucking gem of an interview I did with California's Shoot It Up. I completely forgot about this one, and I will never forgive myself for it. This interview was conducted via the Internet in 2008 around the time they released their excellent 7" on Criminal IQ records. The big article I referred to in my last post should be up sometime next week.


You've been on tour since mid March. What are your thoughts about the cities you played and which one had the best drugs?

Everywhere is cold, and is full of cock teases. Drugs… we cant give out a best with a clear conscious being since they were not potent enough NOR easy enough to come across BUT definite runner up’s Philly’s pill cocktails (thank you doctor Kyle) and hill boys in Tennesse know how to get you stoned enough to forget. Please don’t take this as an attack just clean up your acts for next time, be prepared and shit.
Have any members of the band "cheesed" before?

what the fuck is that? If this is some kinda pizza related comment? Olives are good.

Someone told me that when you played Now That's Class in Clevo you were slappin hos and fucking with people at the bar. How do you choose your victims and why do they deserve it? Are they bustas or just bitches?
People were fucking with us and there were no “victim’s” choosing or what haves you; nothing was premeditated. Some bitch got punched the face and probably deserved it.

What are your non musical and non drug influences?

Vengeances, gettin’ pussy, guns, bitches wit da big butts, other peoples’ (and for that matter our own) misfortunes, hatred for humans, and puppy dogs.

MRR called your split with Analingus as being along the lines of immature and stupid. Do you think MRR doesn't like you because you aren't vegans or sXe or is it because they are new wave hippies? Elaborate.

FUCK MRR faggots fucking retards, They got an agenda and we aint gonna fit there mold. They are just miss informed and no one in “punk rock” or whatever the shit is should EVER complain about something being immature. And if they are going to then they are in the wrong fucking pool. Oh Im sorry we didn’t Jeferson airplane or Rolling stone our shit up for you mother fucker we simply thought you were down guess not but we will know for next time, we’ll get some equalization and shit going really master that shit up do it real grand like. For the people/magazine/faggotry that claims to “call people on their shit” they really just talk a bunch of (shit). I could pick apart the whole review but it’s easier to call them pussies. And another thing… you know.. it’s kinda funny. The first record was in “top 10s” AND SHIT while the record cover was some poor bitch getting a Dickin through the back of her head and her brains exploding all over the cover. I guess a gun in one’s pussy puts it over the edge.. Well, I’m standing on the edge. Looking down….. And I like what I see. Not sure if jumping over said edge will hurt or help us at this point. FUCK IT. But over all I guess it is a pretty liberal SLASH “punk fucking rock” (or HELLA SICK PFR if you like) operation they gots going on over there what with all the censoring of shit that offends and bad mouthing of the tunes to go with aforementioned cover art. (Too bad no ones figured out a way to put sarcasm in print correctly)

What are some of your favorite contemporary bands?

HOMO STUPIDS (not cus we like the tunes so much as they asked to play with us at the first horrible fest) MR. California (fucking stupid shit) Rot Shit (look at em, bunch of fuking ass-loving queer’s) whatever Alesandro’s doing (sucking + fucking cocks [and reportedtly peeing on said cocks]) Darvocets[PERIOD]. NASA Space Universe. CIRIL, HOLY shit, Condiminium (Kim’s hot), Angry Samoans (still doin dis SHIT)

You guys just recently released a new 7" with Crim. IQ. Is there anything else to look out for in the near future?

well.. more face punching of bitches putting shit in the eye (THATs RIGHT FUCKER I GOT A PROBLEM WITH SHIT IN MY EYE I. DON’T. LIKE. IT. And I don’t like you [and bitch you got cottage cheese thighs] ya I got something for your ass.. got Some advice. Shut the fuck up quit asking questions and buy what we sell you fuck you fuck your mama and fuck your sister, and we is going to continue to not give a fuck And be shoot it up and when we wanbt a new record you get a new record FUCK YOU. And yea we got one we done had one for three maybe foe yeers ima just call all you fagits monopoly cus we be playing you PLYING YOU LIKE A TUBA LUBA. And while we is opn the topic of biutches and tuba if anyone ANYONHE thinks they tube is bnot in working order bring dat shit right on over here we tunea dat cshit for you if yours your girlfriends whatever the fuk not up in tune and shit bring dat tshit right on over here we tune adat shit for you go ahead call her what her name sailor moon yea I tune dat shit call your ass whatever the fuk we tune dat shit and learn to fucking cook BITCH cus if you want shit tuned you need to fill my belly. And personally PLAYBOy If I was you I’d get my ass a pencil write dis shit the fuck down its GOLD ,motyherfucker. And if dat bitch say she can be cooking and shit ask her ass what her best meal is and if that bitch be talking bout blue box blues or some shit tell her ass to bhit the fuking curb I need a bitch be making me some meat and potatos for a side mother fucker I need me a steak nad BITCH YOU BETTER MAKE A STEAK I need me at least some sausage link cookin skill theys like the anmal beads to me youb want the beads and I want the cooking if you is a right proper bitch you know how to make my ass a piece of meat and some tater’s, and if you want you them fake fuking lashes and shit like dat you make me what I needs hoe PERIOD , big dogs need meat WOOF WOOF BITCH WOOF, or just take me get some
Roscoes FUk It. Let me tell y9ou something bout arbies them fuckers got special sauce, SPECIAL sauce SPECIAL BITCH and the only sauce you got is momas milk I don’t need that shit im a griown ass man bitch I don’t NNED your mamas sauce and shit fuk DAT.

If Rot Shit asked you guys to come with them in the mother ship with the aliens, would you do it?

I tell those mother fuckers what the fuck they talkin about. I never had no mother fuker talk to me like that. I’d slap them mother fuckers. I need you mother fuckers stop talkin to me about aliens and shit, this ain’t no fuckin Darvocets songs… I do kno yo ass come talking to me about aliens and shit I’ll fuckin slap you. Now ask me a right correct question rot shit. I got a mother ship for you it’s called my pants, my cock, ride the LIGHTNING BITCH.
Theres alot going on here in the Midwest. Do you think Cali has the same vibe and if not, what are some differences?

Oh yeah, there’s a lot going on the Midwest:
1) Getting drunk
2) Getting shitty drugs
3) Posting on mssg boards

I can't think of anymore questions so please talk about any crazy tour stories or any other vile occurances.

Tour story #1: Get off the airplane. Noonan comes through with GOOD drugs gets us high as fuck and takes our asses home. SLEEP. Wake up, get fucked up all over again, and tell everyone in Southern California how fucking cold/shitty it was everywhere that wasn’t the best place in the world. TIP #1: Grow a beach, learn to plant a palm tree, create some pot I can get high off of (not that I can spend all my fucking time, money and life on, puffing and huffing, juist to get a little taste, a little TASTE of being high (not actually high), fucking go out find someone who can transport you some good high quality cocaine witout putting baby laxative, fucking over ther counter head-ache medicine, or some kidn of of fucking medicated crushed up pill in this shit, so that I can actually not feel my teeth, cos when I’m on cocaine I want to feel like a 102 year old man with no fucking teeth and I want to feel like I want my dick to go into everything that walks and owns a pussy. Why don’t you nigass learn how to cook some speed?? One these scumbags got arrested in “the meth capital of the world”. You just take some over the counter medicine (this shit ain’t that hard to find) shove it to gether with some acetone, put some heat under it… start cookin away! It don’t take that long. If you could learn that for the love of you (and the love of me!) you been to school. You did your homework ( I didn’t).You know the love of doing your homework??? You shoud take that love and put it itno being a piece of shit.. It takes a lot of love. Either go to school and love books and love the g’vot (cos some big tall whiter mother fuckers vote is going to count more than you, and it doen’st matter who you say should win or your buddy say should win, because no one cares what you think, so fuck you fuck your opionion. Someone else is running this country for you……. You shoud think about getting high! Buy records written by Shoot It Up and please for the love of god pleae learn to make your own drug, or buy the right kind of drg, please!! Because we do it here at home, we go out, we get high, we don’t pussy foot around, we don’t thin ktoo hard about who is in the governmtn. Look at the governer. Termination!! We don’t give a fuck. I just know everyday ik’m going to sit my booze, I’m going to get drunk, and there’s going to be drugs waiting for meto use at my house, for me to get high, and feel good about being a person. But not you.. you think. You read. You follow up on the news, goings on… What’s up with Brittneys’ hair, what’s up with Lohan, who is paris Hilton fucking now, and you know hat?? I know you like to bleive in your little heart, that only fags in CA only belive in shit that People care about Mel Gibson but WE REALY Don’t. WE DON’t even fuckig know them. All I fucking know is that when I get home I want myglass pipe full of GOOD weeed (not your shitty fucking mids/stress you pretend to be good shit. And it’s NOT good) I want my poookie filled with GLASS ( not ice… I like glass, that’s OK) and I want my Snuff bullet filled with COCAINE ( not snorting tobacco) I also want my freebaser filled with coke and baking soda that I can fill with water like some sort of magical kool-aid and rock it up and make a fucking party out of my everyday Tuesday-Wednesday. I don’t care. Abou the world. Presidency. How high taxes are (cos I’m gunna pay them anyway) I don’t care (burp) I do not care about hardly fucking anything except GETTIN MINE. And I don’t mind IF YOU get yours. Just don’t bother me!!! It’s not fair!! It’s not fair Jay-Z. It’s not fair Puffy. Got ahead vote. Youre a minority, because your reading this, and if your reading this, your probably reading a stupid magazine by fagots that listen to Holy shit, and all we wanna do is get high and give you tunes to listen too. I LOVE AMERICA. P.S. FUCK GREEN TEA FUCK LATTES. BITCH

Big Article Up Soon

Anyone who reads this thing can expect a nice big article in about a week and a half. Stay tuned.

Home Blitz: Pop Music Through Deception

I know this may sound completely cliche or incredibly obvious, but music in itself is a science. It is a process of trial and error. Most of the time, the bad ideas outweigh the good ones (as anyone who is living in city with a million shitty bands and only a handful of good ones can testify to). But sooner or later you hear that just sounds RIGHT. The concept of what is right and wrong in music is a fuzzy subject because it cannot be measured or boiled down to the almighty logic of “1+1=2”. It is purely an objective science but just because there is objectivity does not mean there are not any standards. For most people, rock n roll is nothing but a pleasant background noise that is as disposable as the gum in their mouth or the coke up their nose. As many things are, rock n roll is one of the many things taken for granted because most people either don’t know what to listen for or they are content with the forced and superficial ideas of the million shitty bands that litter your town.

But sometimes there are bands that speak so loudly that you are instantly forced to listen. Home Blitz’s Out of Phase is relentless but not in the traditional way. It throws curve balls at you constantly and it doesn’t know what it wants to be. The record’s own indecision is its strongest point (Ironic because that is usually what breaks most records). It is simply not content on being one thing (rock, power pop, punk, acid rock, country, blues, whatever). It takes what it needs and goes with it, without any regard to what the “right way” of doing things is. Deception is another key sonic element in Out of Phase. Any listener who is used to an album having a set style or a certain air of predictability would not even dream that a song like “Two Steps” could follow the noisy racket of “Nest of Vipers”. Both songs by themselves are sneaky little fuckers, with “Vipers” ending its chaos with a somber little piano number and “Two Steps” beginning with a shaky Beef Heart-like blues riff before launching into full blown pop glory. “Don’t Talk to Me”, the album’s most straight ahead song, is a bitter and cynical number. At first, he thanks you for treating him like a fucking human being and then he gives you an earful of his problems. Not only does he have a laundry list of problems, but he refuses to do anythingabout them. What a way to piss someone off and what a way to be a snot nose brat. Surprisingly, in spite of “Don’t Talk to Me’s” complaining, it doesn’t really bother me that much. To me it felt like I was having a drunken conversation with a good friend who had a bad week instead of some fuckwad like Connor Oberst and his “feelings”. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a world of difference.

Another reason Out of Phase clicks so easily is that the singer’s voice is honest if not pedestrian. He may not have golden pipes but he seems to tell the truth when so many bands lie out their ass. Christ, sometimes I have hard time believing what so many bands say. Bands are like Thee Oh Sees and King Khan have made careers with bullshit like that. Don’t get me wrong, I think they get the job done but it can be very transparent at times. When I listen to Home Blitz, I get the same feeling when I’m listening to Ron House; both of them tell it like it is without any sort rosy view. Sure they be melodramatic at times but then again they are just human.

Just as we are getting used to the soap box style of “Don’t Talk to Me”, Home Blitz gets bored with that and moves on the next thing. I swear to God, whoever wrote these songs and decided their sequence has one of thee worst cases of ADHD I’ve ever seen. Now, our ears are fixated upon the blown out rocker “Other Side of The Street”, which offers no smooth transition from the last song. But of course this only adds to the album’s charm because it has no interest in giving you anything conventionally logical. Besides, whenever rock ‘n roll bands attempt to cram gratuitous amounts of logic into their music, you get the Mars Volta or even worse, Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. Out of Phase presses on with the poppy twang of “Route 18”, a song that starts strong and gradually but beautifully falls apart. “World War III” spells out Out of Phase’s whole philosophy by urging that“you gotta do things people don’t think you’re gonna do” to the beat of a steady riff. Come to think of it, the whole album is a series of steady rock riffs whose sole purpose is to stabilize all of the random and spontaneous ideas that are presented. Plus, they do a believable Cock Sparrer cover and really make it their own.

Although there are many great songs on this gem, the one that really sticks out in my mind is “A Different Touch”, and when I says it sticks out, I mean it sticks out like a sore thumb. It really is the bastard child of this album, which in itself is a pretty hilarious statement to say when the whole thing is a cut and paste affair. The whole song is a slow and ugly little thing. It sounds like if Blue Cheer or Sabbath did one hundred times the acid they did and embraced the possibilities of sub par amplifiers. It sounds like the song every “shitgaze” band was trying to do two years but got lost in their own pretensions and fuzz. To make this simple; I really like this song. I don’t exactly know why though. Its not that entirely catchy and the riff isn’t that amazing. I cannot put my finger on it. The best conclusion I can come to is the “tone” of the song, and when I mean tone, I am talking about how it is said. For example, I could walk up to someone and say “You fucker!!!” in a joking tone and they would know that I am being amicable instead of hostile. How you say something can drastically change the meaning of the said thing. What makes “A Different Touch” my favorite song on Out of Phase isn’t the music or the lyrics but rather how it is being played to me. Small details like that can create something extraordinary from something basic.

If this were any other band or any other record, I am not sure they could get away with half the shit this record does. But in Home Blitz’s case none of that stuff matters in the first place because everything on this album WORKS. At a time when so many bands are looking for the pop edge and let their rock edge get dull, Home Blitz brings you the goods. All of New York and San Francisco need to hear this album because synth music is dead, irony is even more dead, and you fucks need to learn to use a guitar properly again.

I'm So Gone: Jay Reatard (1980-2010)

This is kind of fucked up. My first post on this blog was lambasting Jay Reatard for his fall from greatness and now the fucker is actually dead. While I can't say I am too sad about this happening since he was the epitome of a drugged out asswipe, his music did make an impact on me as a music fan. Blood Visions, the whole Reatards discography, and a plethora of various other bands and side projects he did are very worthy efforts and are among the best in rock n roll. I want to forget Reatard as a person but I will not forget the albums.

Jay Reatard: Lets All Drink To The Death Of A Clown

2010 is not the future anymore.  There are no flying cars and the world is not existing in some post apocalyptic condition. It’s ordinary, boring, and painfully up to date. The new decade will render the relevant irrelevant, and new assholes will come out to play. I know that I will hate the new ones as much as I hate the irrelevant ones. Irrelevance always occurs through compromise and laziness. Five years ago, Jay Reatard and the Black Lips were untouchable and infallible forces in music. Nowadays, Reatard is a tantrum prone buffoon who pimps family friendly retreads of his older material just so that he can get his ego stroked by tin eared music “journalists” and to make a few bucks.  Do not get me wrong. Getting critical praise is not a bad thing and making actual money from your music is definitely not either but you do not have to reach to the bottom of the shit barrel to achieve these.  Reatard is doing what many musicians do when they attempt mainstream success, they pander to their new audience’s stupidity. Let’s face it, the general public is stupid. It doesn’t know what it wants. That’s why there are media outlets like Fox News and MSNBC to dictate their politics and places like Pitchfork and Vice for their musical taste.  The Williamsburg bohemian is just as square as the elderly
Fox News viewer. They are presented one perspective and that one viewpoint is groomed and pampered by the sources until it looks like the end all be all of anything.  Sure, Retard still looks like a maverick to the music press, but then again, anyone can look badass when Animal Collective and Vampire Weekend are considered the cutting edge in today’s music culture.  What is really hilarious is how the press treats Reatard.  Pitchfork, which is half a tabloid and half a Lester Bangs clone job, praises Reatard for his lo fi, garage punk roots and what ever other crap Matador pays them to write. Take any article on Reatard and count how many times the writer gushes about his “lo fi garage punk” and you will see how many times that person pats themselves on the back. Every review for Watch Me Fall followed the same formula. First, we get to hear all that shit about Reatard’s “roots”, which I doubt anyone reading gives a shit since they are getting a music recommendation from Entertainment Weekly and they are most likely forty something squares looking for credibility within their midlife crisis. Second, we get to hear about his new album which, compared to Blood Visions, is like the Stones going from Exile on Main Street to Goat’s Head Soup. Its not completely awful in the traditional sense but rather a symbol of what he has become.  All the good things are gone and everything else is exaggerated to the point that any moron looking to be cool can grasp onto it. But almost every music journalist idiot that reviews the new record disregards that and instead gives the tired cop out remark that he is “incorporating more pop”. Bullshit. Blood Visions was a pure pop record that didn’t use bullshit techniques to justify it’s pop status.  Most rock bands that use the pop tag usually forget that pop music is in the music, not the studio magic. Making your sound squeaky clean will not make your riff any catchier. That is something Retard forgot when he was getting his nose froze on Matador’s money.  The money is good, the coke is great, the music is not. You could have all three Jay. Fuck, what am I talking about? Of course you can’t!

The Black Lips on the other hand, I don’t know what to say about this group anymore. They were so close to rock n roll Valhalla with Let It Bloom and then they piss it all away with that goddamn Vice record. Why are you lowering your standards? There is no way that Good, Bad, Not Evil was the logical next step after Let It Bloom. I know that and I know fully well that the Black Lips knew that. The album after that one? Who cares? I know I didn’t when it came out. They fucked up so royally that I am not even interested in them redeeming themselves because I know they will not do it. There is nothing about them that is remarkable anymore. They are destined to fade away, all in the name of “respectability”. I don’t know what possessed the Black Lips let alone Jay Reatard to lower their standards to meet their new audiences’ standards.  What a bunch of wimps. You’re the fucking band! You set the standards, not the fucking audience!  If you treat your audience like morons they are going to remain morons. Now it just seems that the Lips are just another face in the crowd. I get as excited about them now as I ever did about Grizzly Bear. Damn, its really sad I could make any sort of comparison of the Black Lips to Grizzly Bear. Five years seems like a long time now. 2010, no Black Lips, no Carbonas, no Jay Reatard.